Pottering Around

Blogging yet again live from platform 8 eagerly awaiting my carriage home. I'm hungry, I'm thirsty, in desperate need of a wee and sick fucking fed up of the volume of people squeezing through my platform. 

To the organisers of the Harry Potter Studio tour.  Fuck you.  Every evening I arrive to packed platforms, squished overheating trains and hoardes of pre pubescent teens and mothers wearing long floaty skirts and moustaches.  Its not fun, really its not.   Giddy teenagers and damp at the crotch mothers eager to catch a glimpse of Harry's wand.  Call me the Golden snitch, but its not fucking real?! Harry Potter, who.. The guy who got naked on the West End and fantasised about horses? 

I've waited about 10 minutes to get through the barrier, there are only 2.  For a major mainline station?  Nice one . I then have to endure another 10 minute wait to get up the stairs to my platform to let people get down.  Waiting patiently remembering my own rule of letting people off the train before getting on.  After 10 minutes, said rule is screwed and I force my way through the crowd.   I really think this tour thing needs its own station. How about, all trains departing from platform 9 and fuck off eh?

A phone call from a friend lifts my mood and I chew the fat for a bit. There are loads of delays but what can I do, its par for the course these days. Cannot WAIT for the Olympics to start. Turns out some poor soul has been hit by a train. I hope it wasn't FPG after eyeballing me this morning.  I'd miss my nemesis.

There's this one member of staff at this station who LOVES the sound of her voice on the intercom.  She's ruining a perfectly good conversation.  You may have realised that I have a complete inability to zone out so I'm listening to her waffling on as well as my friend and its not a good combo. I say to my friend, "Mate, can I call you back, I can't hear a word over this fucking bitch who loves the sound of her own voice".  I hang up and realise I've said that rather loudly and everyone is now staring at me. I have rather poor hearing so I assume everyone else then has. Reign it in, reign it in

Oh hear she goes again, every little movement within a train station does not require an announcement! Train at platform 8 approaching, fair enough. Delay on platform 6, fair enough.  Just frigged myself in the staff room listening to myself on recording.  Too far.

Train has just pulled into the platform, I wait for people to empty and get on.  Its still packed, I'm going to have to stand.  A train journey standing, movement, trying to retain balance on a recently fractured and recovering ankle.  Brilliant.  Maybe tomorrow I should dig my crutches out. Surely I'd be escorted through such a busy station?  Still maybe its an extra session with Mr FIT physiotherapist who has an amazing 6-pack.  I know this because my feet have felt it whilst they were pressed against that rock hard chest testing my suppleness. 

Every cloud eh?

A. Passenger